“Life is not a Movie”

Life is not a movie.
Life is not a novel.
Life is not, undoubtedly, a movie based of a novel.


I know, I did not have to tell you; But it is good to rehiterate it because from time to time we tend to forget it and it’s easy to find our selfeves complicating everything.


– And even if it was, a movie or novel I mean, my writer must have been drunk, that would explain many things, such as the systematic alternation of empty and flat periods and others when I perpetually go into trouble. –


Come on, do not tell me you have never fantasized when your hand have met the one of an unknown stranger over the last litre of milk, your eyes crossed and to “take it” <<no, you were first >> << I insist, take it >> << you are so kind, I just needed >> to “now he asks me to go out, we will go to the most fashionable restaurant, we will make long walks, find ourselves to be twin souls, we will marry , we will have many children, (we will divorce) and live forever happy and joyful “is a blink.

In real life it is probable that the guy does not give you the milk at all, and with a scurvy gesture he goes away letting you stuttering a variety of insults and sadly thinking you have to have breakfast with tea, which is not the same thing.

Even the most obstinate dreamers should pay attention to the small big differences between real and scripted life.

Let’s take the most classic example: the keys.
As 98% of the movies have the doors of houses, cars, airplanes, hotels, rockets and castles inexplicably open, there are some scenes where the star of the turn finds it closed.
Usually it happens on two occasions: 1) The protagonist is running away from a serial killer or 2) He is clinging to the partner and are about to go to bed.
The fact that love and horror movies have the same narrative structure is something to talk about, in the future, now we need to stay focesed
In case 1), it depends on how important you are in the script, if you are the protagonist you can open and enter a moment before the sk catches you, but if you are an extra …

In case 2) unexplainably despite the couple being unfocused and they have a bunch of very substantial keys, they can find the patch at the first shot! Moreover, they close the door with a kick, and walk by kissing and loving each other till the bedroom.
In the dark.
Although it is the first time they get into the house.
No edge, no unidentified object, no dirty cloth, no obstacles in the walk of passion to the bed, on which they fall gently.


I do not know about you, but I stand at MY home door for at least two minutes to identify the right key and another abundant handful of seconds to put it into the patch, and the margin of error increases exponentially if I need to urinate!

So I imagine how much it would take for me toopen the door if I was hugging someone ….
And if I come back late in the night and then the house is dark, I’m sure I’ll beam any corner or door ajar, or any object left on the floor, before I get to my room.


But this is not for them. They go straight to the goal.

It’s ok though, it’s a movie. At least, everything has to go wellthere. But it’s always wise to go back to the ground and remember that in the movies there is someone who designed the whole scene, studying every move and word. Even the weather is perfect for the frame: rain is ideal for an heartbreaking love statement (or a rugged escape. Do you see? horror and love movies are the same !!!!!) and a stunning kiss .


Try to do it.

First, the thunder sound would cover everything you say, then flashes and lightning will make you risk finishing fried, and above all, I promise that there is not romantic in finding yourself wet, with dripping hair and spoiled makeup.

And then the dialogues! The dialogues !!!!

Have you any idea of how long we,writers, employ to write a grammatically correct joke, which is nice, non-trivial, and sounds spontaneous to the audience, even though it has been changed and tested from three to three hundred times ????? !!!! !
In reality, no one has written the script for you, so besides being in the middle of the road with the wind that freezes your facial nerve, you may even be unable to articulate a coherent phrase.

20b_ life is not a movie
Life is not a movie.
Life is not a novel.
Life is not, undoubtedly, a movie based of a novel.



If this was a movie, for example, he now would get out from nowhere, even though he has not lived here for a long time… but he would come because the writer wrote it. Smiling, he would meet me by saying something nice, I would answer with something intelligent, he would offer me a coffee …


… but this is life, so even though I’m next to the sidewalk and at my side there would be room even for a transatlantic, the traffic light is  green and that one in the car behind begins to stubble the horn waking me up from my imagination.


I just have to go home and read a book, because in the books at least, something decent always happens!


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